I was still married. He was cheating, not taking care of us financially, and abusive. I was so worn and lonely. Married but alone. I knew he lied to me about so many things but he isolated me at times so I could not check up on him. But God always has a way of exposing evil.
I had heard that Brownsville, Florida was in a great revival. Many different ones went from our church. Telling of all the miracles and things going on. I wanted to experience it. I laid on my bedroom floor crying out to God for change. I couldn't keep performing and acting like things were ok. I had tried and tried like the church wanted but he never changed. I had put on so much weight from being so sad and rejected. I hated myself and life. I wanted it to work but, He just kept apologizing and going back to it. I began fasting and praying for a breakthrough to come.
So I went to the revival, with friends from the church. We got our hotel and then went and waited in line on the sidewalk early in the morning. Waiting ....for time for church that evening at 7pm. I went prepared and expecting the supernatural power of God to meet me. We ate, talked, met people, sang, prayed. It was amazing to see so many people hungry for God.
There came a storm. It began to rain hard, thunder pounded, and lightening flashed. We gathered under each others umbrellas and held on till it passed. Wet, sweaty, worn, but soooo ready to meet with God in a mighty way. When it came close to time...you could literally feel the atmosphere thicken out there. There was such an anticipation of God's presence.
When we finally went in the Church, and it began. The presence of God was powerful. When the Evangelist, Steve Hill, got up and began to preach. The word was so powerful. When he gave alter call for the lost they went. He had those who had a need to step out and come up front, but it was so packed that I could only step out in the isle. When I did I just prayed and waited for God. I looked up and the Pastor of the Church Pastor Kilpatrick looked back and our eyes met. He started walking through the crowd, laying hands on and working his way back to were I was. When he got before he looked at me and pointed his hands toward me and I was down. That was my first experience in being slain in the spirit.
As I lay there, God began to minister to me. I saw a screen like a TV. On was a man that had violated me and I said "God I don't want to look at this, please remove it". He said "Look at it, until you are able to look at it and let me heal you, I can't use you". So I looked. I saw his hand appear and erase it.
Then another violation appeared...one after the other...each time God's hand appeared and erased it. I cried and said "Lord I want to be used by you with all my heart". I said "Take whatever you have't to, do whatever you have't to do." He said "It is done". I will use you mightily. Then I felt like heaven reached down and kissed my forehead. I felt like a school girl. New and in love with whom I had just talked with.
This was in June I believe when we went. By October I was in a divorce. Before the year was up I had lost my marriage, house, car...only had the kids, and clothes that I owned. Very little did I take. I let him have the house, and stuff in it. I made bad choices and God had to clean it up. I could no longer live in the abuse and allow him to damage my Son.
It then was the beginning of heading toward God's will for my life. I had done it my way and failed. Now God was going to direct me. So the journey began.
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