I did before I took this responsibility on but I knew it was what God wanted and I have no regrets. I know there are ppl that think I should pay someone else to watch them and go get a job or stick them in an convalescent home and go live my life. That's fine for them but that's not what God has for this season of my life. He placed me here for this time in their lives. I seen, after Momma's hospitalization, when she went to the rehab for a few weeks, how she would do in a convalescent home. She laid there and was always down looking. She wanted to come home. And really? Why would I work to pay someone else to take care of them? That don't make sense to me.
So even though things are tight with money, even though things are stressful at times.....I made up in my mind to be here for the long haul. I am taking care of them to the best of my ability. I will have my life and time in due season. God has an order to things and as he wants them to be, it will fall into place.
Momma is doing really good under the circumstances she was under. She gets up and makes Daddy breakfast now. I let her do some things to feel needed and not be so bored.
Daddy has become alot like a child. He just can't reason but only in a child mentality. He has put on a lil' weight and his pants are too tight to button. He has went up a size. It's hard to get him to understand that they no longer fit. lolol He says I've had these pants for years and I am fine. lolol Help me Lawd. I am buying new ones and making the old ones disappear little by little. lolol
Daddy gets so stressed if the electricity goes out and comes back leaving things blinking. He can't stand the blinking. It's little things like that, that would never bother him before and now drives him crazy and in return he drives me crazy trying to fix it all quickly. lol
Daddy would rather snack, and have sweets than eat a good meal. So I have't to put my foot down and make sure he eats right. He's honestly like a little boy now. He make me so irritated over things but when I look at him curled up in his recliner, with his foot pulled up, and him snoring.....how can I stay upset. I am blessed to have this treasure I call Daddy, still in my care.
I am finding out that I need to take care of myself, much better than what I am doing. I need my "ME TIME" and quiet time. If I am not in good health and refreshed then I won't be able to give Momma and Daddy my best.
So I am going to start doing some me, stuff. I want to start my Counseling Course, once I find it. I think it may be in storage. Once I find it, I will begin it.
Then I want to take a course of some sort online. Not sure what yet. But I need this for me. I also want to join a cheap Gym and start working out to regain my strength and stamina. I want to regain strength and health that I have lost in the last 4 years. I praying that the fibromyalgia leaves.
I guess if I could sum up todays thoughts....it would be the seeds my parents sowed in me yesterday are coming forth today. Their tenacious love, has brought forth my tenacious love and for them I am sooooo thankful.
If I had alot of money, I would start up a no-kill rescue center for animals, an orphanage, and an retirement home for elderly people that need assistance but still want some freedom, and need respect. I think if there is any that move my heart it is animals, kids, elderly. They are vulnerable and need tender loving care.
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