" MEN-O-PAUSE"

************************************ A Little Humor from a "Wise Woman"

Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why. An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a dang what you might think about her. An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. haha  Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous with praise, often undeserved. An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know. An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.  Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.) Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 50 there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.  So true!  That shows their insecurity. ******************************************************************************** Male menopause is alot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and have hot flashes. With male menopause you get to date young girls and ride bikes. ********************************************************************************* The Change. The Change of Life. Or simply, menopause. It really doesn’t matter what you call it, the facts are the same. But why do we have them so confused? Let’s test your menopause smarts. But, before we do, why don’t we cover some of the basics. Menopause is defined as the time when a woman has her last menstrual period — a normal and healthy part of every woman’s life. The entire transition period is known as perimenopause and begins several years before a last period; a full year without a period is needed before a woman can technically say she has been through menopause. The average age for women to begin this process is 51; however, it can be eight to 10 years before most reach postmenopause (referring to the stage following menopause, lasting the rest of her life). Some women experience menopause early as a result of surgery or a natural occurrence; this is known as early or premature menopause. Every woman will be affected by menopause, but despite this it’s not a topic readily discussed. In fact, when we do talk about it, the focus is mainly on the negative perceptions of menopause, but is that really the case for the women experiencing it? Let’s test your menopause smarts. True or False? Hot flashes are normal (and maybe a little annoying): True! Hot flashes are very common. About 80 to 90 per cent of women will experience them during menopause. Hot flashes are related to the amount of estrogen in the body and can last seconds to minutes. This is the body’s way of adjusting to the hormonal changes it’s experiencing. The good news is that there are ways to help manage hot flashes, such as diet, exercise, dressing in layers, and finding a relaxing environment. *********** YEA Right....lololol